A Date With Maureen Dowd

[Cross-posted at CMC Nation]

The lovely New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd graced my college (Claremont McKenna College) with her presence just hours ago in what was the closest thing to a 40-minute orgasm that the Athenaeum has offered in my three and a half years as a student here. Ms. Dowd was as witty, entertaining and sharp in person as she is in print.

I had the privilege to meet Maureen and talk briefly with her before the dinner began. I told her I'm a fan of her column and we spoke about the election, the Clintons and Hillary's legacy-cum-victim persona during the primaries. "It's so not what a feminist should be," she said. Later in the evening, I asked Maureen if she had any words of wisdom for those of us who are moving beyond college soon and are interested in being political journalists. She took a cautious but optimistic view of the future of journalism, and told me if I'm ever in Washington, to "come have coffee and we'll talk about your career." It's a promise I wouldn't begrudge someone of her stature for breaking but it was still rather awesome of her to say.

Maureen Dowd opened by telling us how much she loves our campus, our cool students and was enthralled by the lighting at the Athenaeum. She talked us through a romanticized account of her first airborne interview with Barack Obama, when she finally found herself alone in a room with "The One" during the primary season after many attempts. After locking eyes with each other and smiling, Obama said to her in a deep, charming voice: "you're really irritating." She jested that in their love story, she was Elizabeth Bennett and he was Mr. Darcy.

Dowd didn't hesitate to criticize Bush, accusing him of "making paper airplanes with the Constitution" during his presidency, or the Clintons, with numerous recollections of the dramatic stories Bill and Hillary have been involved in over the years. Dowd lamented having to cover the candidacies of Michael Dukakis, whose favorite pastime was to read sinfully boring books and John Kerry, who she claimed would be in the running for a contest called "Senator you'd least want to have coffee with." 2008 candidate John McCain was "not the McCain I knew for 15 years," she said. With all of McCain’s missteps, the newbie from Chicago with dark skin and a funny name came off as "a steadier brand" than the 26-year Senator who had built a career on honor and service.

Dowd's speech practically turned into stand-up comedy sketch – one with biting truth – once she mentioned Sarah Palin. As a journalist, she described Palin as "the love of her life," claiming that she "became God’s gift to journalism and comedy." Palin "revived not only her party’s base but also SNL," exclaimed Dowd. She dreamed up a Hollywood chick flick where a "two year governor of an oversized igloo becomes Commander-in-Chief after McCain chokes on a pretzel. "Doggone it!" declares Palin to Putin as she points her rifle at him, "back off dude, I’m a much better shot than Cheney. Shoo!" Dowd said that "as a journalist, I miss her dearly."

Dowd’s mixture of insightfulness and clever wit in her speech could only be matched by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. She added to it the political insight we can expect only from her – full of comedic anecdotes and punched with alliteration and literary references. It was an evening of nostalgia over the presidential election from a bona fide insider’s perspectives, and many, many laughs. There’s no one in the world better at finding the perfect adjective to describe a person, situation or event, or creating delicious narratives to real life stories. Studying Shakespeare in college must have helped Dowd find the unique voice that won her a Pulitzer Prize.

There has "never been an election in modern times that measured up to this one," declared Dowd. After watching W. let a city drown, oversee irresponsible deregulation leading to an economic disaster, invading the wrong country and not catching bin Laden, this election "was about restoring America’s soul," she concluded. "Americans want the American dream back. After all, they invented it."